Whenever someone at work bugs me, since I work in a restaurant this occurs as frequently as breathing, my friend Maeghan and I play the game “You know what grinds my gears?…” I think I saw it on a Family Guy episode though I am not crazy about the show. It is just a silly way to rant about the shenanigans that happen like:

“Why are we waiting on salad?”

“Oh em gee that kid barfed all over the table!”

“I AM MAD WEEDED!!”

“Yes, I will have a well done steak…” ordered five minutes before we close.

“That guy just snapped his fingers at me”

“Don’t ask me for my number and stiff me when I say no thank you….”

“That table just called me something really offence while speaking French”

As ridiculous as things seem, they happen on the regular. The last one happened to a friend of mine and she speaks fluent French so unfortunately heard all the nasty things that the table was saying about her.

It helps to say these things out loud to her since usually it is just ridiculous things that get my blood boiling. Sometimes I tell her to hop aboard the Complain Train when I feel like being a whiner. To you all reading this, hop aboard because we are going on a trip!! CHOO CHOO!!

My friend Katie was at Starbucks last week and ordered a fancy latte but with half of the sugary syrup they normally put it. The barista asked her, “Oh are you trying to be healthy?” She handled it better than I would have and simply said that she just didn’t like how sweet the drink was normally served. Katie told me that she was being judged for her size and this person was assuming she is unhealthy. Katie is a champ, does yoga and eats healthful meals all while working and going to school full-time. My gears were grinding so hard that sparks were flying!!  

This reminded me of a similar incident I experienced at the grocery store checkout when I first started my site. I was sipping on a mason jar filled with my green smoothie, cause that’s just how I do, and the rather buff man behind me questioned my drink. I told him what was in it thinking maybe he just wanted the recipe but instead he asked me if I had lost weight. I said no since I was just starting out and was just in shock that a stranger would ask me that.

 “Some people will try anything,” he muttered to his companion.

I said nothing, paid for my purchases, put on my sunglasses and cried the whole way home. It seems crazy that I let this strangers comment affect me in such a negative way but it did. At that time in my life, I was very self-conscious about my appearance since I did not look like the “typical” vegan.

I remember a few years back that I was probably the unhealthiest person ever; I chained smoked, drank only diet drinks when I wasn’t drinking huge quantities of coffee and took over the counter diet pills everyday. I was skinny but definitely not healthy and no one said anything about it, even when I had a cigarette between my lips and double-fisting a Diet Coke and a Red Bull. This image did not get a rise out of people enough for them to say anything to my face about how unhealthy I was because I was thin but as soon as a curvaceous girl has a green smoothie in hand, everyone seemed to have a damn opinion about it.

I have a high self-esteem when I am alone and this is common occurrence. I think I am beautiful and love my green eyes, bright smile and my great curvy body but this all goes down the drain when people make comments like that. I start to question my self-esteem, maybe I am not as pretty as I think? Maybe I could lose some weight?

I decided that I had to practice confidence for the sake of my self-esteem. People are always going to be rude and unforgiving but I needed to change my reaction. I would not longer beat myself up for not being their ideal, I am my own ideal person and I am enough and guess what?? So are you!! 

 I used this recipe for the sauce. To go nut-free, substitute the cashews for soaked sunflower seeds. 

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 1) Reading

2) Writing

3) Cooking

4) People watching

5) Anything with an abundance of fresh basil

I didn’t love basil until I was in my early 20’s since I was so accustomed to the shaker of dried basil my mother kept in the cupboard. Fresh basil is a million times better than dried and I am grateful that I have access to it year around but it is best when the weather gets warm and I think we are all quite pleased with the recent weather.

At an old serving job of mine we kept a rooftop herb garden in our patio so the air had a smell of sweat, beer and basil. One of my coworkers at the time is a very petite big haired fierce Italian woman and she loved to sit by this garden whenever it was slow. She had this funny habit of gently stroking the herb plants and then rubbing her herb infused hands on her neck. At first I just thought she didn’t want to be smelly since we were sweating profusely midday in our all black button up uniform. Once we became friendlier with each other I finally asked her why she did this. She said that her mother was an avid gardener but never grew flowers, only plants that you could eat since she had grown up with little money. She said she never minded the thrift store clothes since the family “ate like kings” in the summer when everything was plentiful and delicious. Her mother would come in from the garden to prepare dinner fragrant of sweat, dirt and fresh herbs. Her favourite was a salad with sun warmed tomatoes, olive oil and thin ribbons of fresh basil.  Unfortunately she had lost her mother the year previous and whenever she was around an herb garden she would touch the plants and rub their aroma on her skin. She said it reminded her of her mother and felt it brought them closer.

This story has stayed with me all these years and made me appreciate having a meal with someone special. Sometimes a meal is just a meal to sustain your body through the day but other times it is an experience to keep close to your heart.

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