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Sorry about the delay in posting but I have some good news. Exams are done, I repeat, exams are done! Isn’t that just the best feeling?
After my exam, I came home to Mark, who had a sandwich and coffee ready for me, hooray! Also the cookbooks I ordered, My New Roots: Inspired Plant-Based Recipes for Every Season and The Sprouted Kitchen Bowl and Spoon: Simple and Inspired Whole Foods Recipes to Savor and Share
had arrived, double hooray! Unfortunately, all I wanted to do was sleep. My brain needed a little R&R.
The next day, I couldn’t shake these feelings of anxiety and guilt. I paced around my kitchen and checked my calendar to make sure I wasn’t missing an appointment but I did not have anything planned. I puttered around the house, sorted laundry and scrubbed the tub but I still felt anxious, almost sick to my stomach. I texted my friend Kristen telling her I was really living it up on my first day off school and told her I thought I was coming down with something. She explained that the anxiety I felt was brought on by not studying for class. She said my brain is in the routine of worrying about studying and when I am not hitting the books, my brain is in panic mode.
I wandered around my apartment, disoriented by not knowing what to do and far too distracted to actually sit down and do anything productive. I put on my jacket, laced up my shoes and headed out of the door. I went for a long walk, something I haven’t done in months since it has been so cold out. The cool air, the empty streets, my music coming through my headphones and the steady pace of my legs helped me clear my head and left me feeling refreshed.
I know I have a hard time relaxing; to truly enjoy doing nothing productive except maybe read a non-food related book or to drink a cup of coffee without looking at my phone. My mind tends to race when I “try” to relax, I feel like I should be doing laundry, cleaning, editing my photos or literally anything on my to-do list for that day but I need the time to unplug. Mark can clear his mind and relax so quickly while my mind is like a live wire, whipping around and shooting sparks in all directions. I asked him for some advice and he told me to just concentrate on my breathing, thinking of nothing else but the air travelling in and out of my lungs. Telling me to “not think of anything” seems to trigger my brain into thinking of EVERYTHING like remembering that time I embarrassed myself at that party when I was 21, running through my recipe checklist and the groceries I need to get for them and anything else that comes to mind. Mark, being the nice boyfriend that he is, let me use his Mala beads to help me concentrate on nothing. I placed the sandalwood beads in my hand, counted them all along its string and concentrated on my breathing. It honestly helped with my fidgety hands and busy mind. Everyone’s method to relax is different and I strongly urge you to find out your own, whether it is running, yoga, meditating, walking or reading a book, find it! I thanked Mark for his help by making him this pudding.
What do you do to relax? Leave comments below with your suggestions.
This recipe is vegan, gluten-free and tree-nut free. The FDA classifies coconut as a nut, even though it is technically a fruit. This recipe is adapted from Oh She Glows: {Almost} Instant Chocolate Chia Pudding. Not crazy about chocolate? Check out my Raspberry-Lemon Chia Seed Pudding.
*Disclaimer: I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program which means I do earn a small commission on the affiliated links.* Something I am trying out and if it works out, great but if not I will take it down.
Ingredients
Instructions
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]]>I was feeling really overwhelmed with the upcoming year and ashamed of myself for not taking more chances or more opportunities. A bunch of why’s flooded my brain; why do I still work in a restaurant? Why haven’t I updated any skills to put on a resume? Why didn’t I decide to update my high school credits sooner? Why am I turning 28 and done nothing with my life?!?
All these feelings flooded over me and turned into tears so naturally like the grown up I am, I called my mommy. After telling me all the nice things that mothers are suppose to say when you call them crying she told me that everything is going to be ok. I didn’t believe her and I felt like everything was taking a really long time and I was at a stand-still, despite actively being in school, doing my site and working a full time job. Strange how you can be doing so much and yet feel motionless. She told me that her twenties were very difficult raising two children on her own but after that it got much better. Her husband also told me that sometimes his life was a disaster also raising two children, losing this job to a machine and then having to travel all the time for a lower paying position because it was one of the few jobs available. He mentioned that when the mother of his children became pregnant for a second time, he had a mortgage and no job. The stress was intense but after a lot of hard work, things did in fact get a little bit smoother. They said that sometimes it felt like things were always going to be bad but thankfully their situations did get better with a little help, love and support from the people around them. They said neither one of them had it all figured out by the time they were 30 and I really shouldn’t put that much pressure on myself when it comes to figuring my entire life out. I was looking at their lives now but did not see the struggle to get there. I was comparing my path to their destination. It was a good prep talk and turned my attitude a full 180 and got down to planning.
I decided to prepare some birthday goals, which are unlike resolutions have an action plan attached to them. I will give myself until my next birthday to accomplish them since some of them aren’t things that can be accomplished in a week (and thats ok!). I am not one for New Year’s resolutions since I find they are empty but having an action plan can be empowering. Each time I check an item off the list, big or small it is a victory in itself!
My first and most important goal this year is to dump someone that has been dragging me down. This person that is doubting my every decision, embarrassed by the decisions that I have made in the past, someone who doesn’t believe in me and compares my efforts, actions and accomplishments to other peoples. She sighs when she sees someone else’s post or recipe or photograph that is better than mine, thinking I will never be as good as them and might as well just give up entirely. This person is not on Team Jess when I sometimes need her to be so badly. All my friends are on Team Jess, rooting for me in the wings, cheering me on with words of encouragement, support and love but just not her.
This person is myself; that little negative voice in my head that tells me that I simply can’t. I don’t need that little voice telling me I can’t or I shouldn’t or what will people think? I am delaying goals I have had for the longest time because of this and for what? Because of what a stranger may think of me when they see that I am in fact a terrible dancer or so inflexible it is almost laughable or that people in a writing class will hate my ideas? These are not good enough reasons to not pursue the things that I want to do. Who is winning here? Not me. We are always hardest on ourselves but isn’t the world hard enough without our own little voice telling us we aren’t good enough? This is why my number one birthday goal is to stop ruining my own life.
On that note, I hope you take a little time today and make that goal for yourself, it may not be your birthday or New Years but it is an important one to practice daily. Enjoy these muffin tops with a cup of tea and get your list going.
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]]>The last post of the month long vegan food feast is finally here! What a blur it has been and did it ever go by quickly. I was hesitant to initially sign up for it, 20 new recipes in 30 days seemed a little daunting for me since I am currently in school full time and work 30-35 a week but I filled in the sign up form and sent it away (almost) with immediate regret. What have I done? Have I gone crazy?
In a panic I started clicking away about the VeganMoFo 2013 blog roll and remembered how disappointed I was not signing up for last year’s event since I lacked the confident to try something so challenging. With this in mind, the panic (somewhat) settled I got to work pouring over vegan and non-vegan cookbooks alike to be inspired get some recipe ideas and flavour profiles I wanted to highlight with the season change. On my little whiteboard calendar I scheduled out the recipes and testing days, trying to be realistic about the time I would have to get everything done. I brought meals and treats into work asking my carnivore co-workers and friends to taste test almost everything I made, they happily obliged. The Pureed Broccoli and Cheezy Soup, Vegan Beer and Chocolate Chilli and this recipe were amongst their favourites.
I was once told that people in their kitchens are just looking for that perfect chocolate cake recipe. Molly Wizenberg states in the final chapter of her book A Homemade Life that a chocolate cake recipe is important in any cook’s repertoire (other things being important too) but a good chocolate cake was essential. With this spirit in mind, I wanted to create my perfect vegan chocolate cake for my repertoire (and hopefully yours too).
To me, chocolate cake needs to be rich, decadent and chocolate-ly. I have never heard some complimenting a chocolate cake that was airy and light. I like it when you can satisfy your chocolate craving with just a sliver of cake. Or a giant piece? I am not the boss of you.
When I first made this cake the taste was great but the cake looked rather plain and I wanted to end my first ever VeganMoFo with a bang. I called in a professional who was willing to be paid in cake and vegan Pumpkin Spice Lattes, my beautiful and talented friend Holly. She is so wonderfully creative, makes amazing tassel garlands and wants everything in the world to be sparkling and beautiful. She herself sparkles every day. I knew when she brought over a vintage box and bags of styling props, fresh flowers and a gorgeous white stand from Le Dolci bakery that I had put my precious cake into good hands.
I decorated the cake while she crafted a custom made little sign celebrating the end of Vegan MoFo 2014 and set up the shoot. My regular shoots are never quite as glamorous as this one but it has inspired me to get a little more creative and a lot more sparkle friendly.
I wouldn’t have thought of gold, peach and green accents (I am more of a black and white girl) but everything turned out beautifully. Now for the bang!
In her styling bag she brought a few sparklers but couldn’t remember if they were specifically meant for the outdoors or were acceptable for inside. We took the gamble and were blown away with the results however our squeals of delight were quickly drowned out by the pounding sound of the smoke detector. Oooops. Ringing eardrums and one pissed off cat later we were finally ready to cut the cake.
Swoooooon! I am in love with that word lately because it is perfectly describing how I am feeling about this dessert. The rich chocolate mixed with creamy coconut milk to make the most perfect decadent ganache, the double layer of dark chocolate cake and with the nutty toasted slivered almond edge, who wouldn’t swoon?
This cake is a little more expensive to make than my other recipes so you may want to save it for special occasions however not any more expensive than attempting to get a great tasting vegan chocolate cake custom made from a bakery. Homemade is always the way to go and you get to shamelessly lick the spatula if you are so inclined. I don’t think I have ever met anyone, young or old that would refuse a spatula coated in chocolate batter.
I loved doing VeganMoFo since it taught me a lot about myself: mistakes I have made with my organizational skills, how to work under pressure and of course where I want to be in the next few years, in life and with this site. For now, I am happy to take a little break from the kitchen (it needs a deep clean!) and enjoy my accomplishment. Until next year VeganMoFo….
Special thanks to Holly Bowman of Champagne Hearts: Parties-In-A-Box creator, stylist, sequin enthusiast and chocolate lover. This shoot was everything I wanted it to be because of your artful eye and hard work making sure every sequin is in the right place. Thank you so much for everything you did for me from making me a custom tassel garland to getting the hair out of my face when I was elbow deep in chocolate. I am a lucky gal to have such a wonderful and inspiring friend.
Thank you to Le Dolci in Toronto for allowing me to use your perfect white cake stand for the shoot and Sweet Woodruff for the gorgeous peach and white flowers that I have been enjoying well beyond the shoot day. Follow Le Dolci on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.
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Though it has been challenging thinking of new recipes to post 4 times a week there are so many bloggers who made this experience look easy. I am sure they are hustling and sweating behind the camera like the rest of us. Well at least I hope I am not the only one with shaky caffeine hands and a kitchen that looks like a bomb went off.
These are just a few of my favourite VeganMoFo bloggers:
She has turned the ghoulish into adorable (I mean terrifying…) vegan AND gluten-free Halloween treats for everyone to enjoy. Bravo!)
LOVE the Lazy Sunday recipe idea! Especially the Tempeh Bacon Quiche, the Pumpkin Spice Cinnamon Rolls, all of them really!
I have drooled over these recipes and amazing photography.
I am glad someone loves movies and television as much as I do and then recreates it into amazing meals.
Burgers for an entire month? Sign me up! Thanksgiving, Irish, Eggplant Sriracha, Gyro….the list goes on!
To the fine creators of VeganMoFo, I applauded your hard work to build an annual vegan food-sharing community. Because of this event, I discovered sites and accounts that I fell in love with and have bookmarked to check on the regular. My hat goes off to you!
Now why would I include a borderline dessert as a staple? This is not just your average dessert since it has protein (from the hemp hearts) and omegas (from the chia seeds). I feel it is important that every kitchen have a little something-something kept the freezer for your work/school week because it always kept me from buying (although vegan) the not-so-good for you “snack foods” out there. I would be in a store after school or work and could tell I was getting a little hangry, I just needed something to get me home but thankfully with these guys in the freezer waiting for me I could talk myself out of grabbing a chocolate bar or a bag of chips. I would think to myself “Why waste the calories/money in a treat that I don’t really want?” and put that snack down and wait until I got home. Now I pack one or two in my dinner that I take to work since I don’t get a break (ever!) but need a little boost when it is blindingly busy or when a table is particularly rude to me.
They are quick, easy and can be made in one bowl. Hooray! Oh did I mention that they are vegan, gluten free and insanely delicious, especially right out of the freezer. The roasted almond butter melts as you chew it, revealing new flavours like coconut, nutty oats, caramel-y dates and chocolate. Swoon! For this recipe I used my One-Ingredient Roasted Almond Butter (another staple!) to make these balls however I am sure any almond butter of your choice will do.
So if someone asks why a little protein-filled dessert is considered a staple, tell them to try it first and if they still don’t get it, just stop talking to them. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life. Haha! Saw that one on Pinterest and I felt it applied.
It has been such a pleasure for me to share with you some of my favourite recipes that I make every week. Thank you all so much for the lovely comments and blog love! I am so grateful for all the readers of my site and there is plenty more coming from my kitchen after VeganMoFo has ended. Check out Tuesday’s post for the final recipe of this month long vegan food fest. I have been saving the best for last.
Happy Sunday!
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]]>VeganMoFo creators suggested to bloggers to have a dedicated theme for a certain day of the week so I have decided for the next month Wednesdays are going to be the”Pick-Me-Up Hump Day Drink!” because who doesn’t need a little boost midweek?
I am excited to share this recipe with you because it was definitely what I needed one particularly grueling week when everything was going wrong and I just couldn’t get my feet on the ground.
This milkshake is a variation on my previous frozen treat love Chocolate Cherry Garcia by Ben & Jerry’s. I was a weird kid that always preferred the not so typical ice cream flavours meant for children- it was never just vanilla or chocolate or strawberry but mint-chocolate, hazelnut, pistachio and I would eat anything in cherries and chocolate. I remember getting those bright red and syrupy maraschino cherries covered with a waxy hyper sweet chocolate as a Valentine’s Day present from a high school boyfriend and eating the whole box in one day. Perhaps I lost my taste from them after that because I haven’t eaten them in years but this milkshake recipe is definitely a keeper (unlike my high school boyfriend and don’t worry, it wasn’t because of the cherry chocolates.)
This recipe calls for raw cocoa nibs and maybe you are like I was, discouraged to use them because they are an acquired taste, rather bitter and hard. Not at all like those luxurious melt-in-your-mouth smooth chocolate memories of your past but raw chocolate has its place and tons of good things for you. So what is so good about raw cocoa nibs? (PS I am not a doctor so this is not intended to be medical advice)
Antioxidant Power
Raw chocolate has loads of antioxidants in them to fight off free radicals in your body. Now what is a free radical? Free radicals are an uncharged molecule (typically highly reactive and short-lived) having an unpaired valence electron [1]. They have the ability to damage your cells and cause them to mutate their DNA. Mutated DNA is the root of a lot of diseases because your cell is getting all the wrong messages about what it is suppose to do [2]. So fight those free radicals with antioxidants! Cherries are also known for their antioxidant powers so this milkshake is pretty good for you on that level!
Mighty Magnesium
Magnesium is an essential mineral that is important for muscle and nerve function. Magnesium helps calcium in your body! [3] You need a balance of both to make sure you are absorbing calcium properly. This mineral also helps restore your body’s pH balance.
Feel Good Chemicals
Phenylethylamine and serotonine are the brain’s feel good chemicals and raw chocolate does contain a small amount of both. However there is a “too much of a good thing” with raw chocolate [4]. Phenylethylamine is a stimulant so it can have the same effect as caffeine for some people so if you are caffeine-sensitive I would recommend lower the amount of cocoa nibs used in this recipe.
More Minerals!
Raw chocolate also contains many other essential minerals such as calcium, iron, zinc, copper, potassium and manganese [5].
Raw chocolate power mixed in with cherries packs a good antioxidant punch against all those nasty free radicals. Science aside, this milkshake is also fresh, creamy, rich and insanely delicious. I hate when I get cherry-stuff and it isn’t cherry-y enough! You know what I mean? Cherry is the star of the milkshake with a subtle hint of raw chocolate in the background. Drink up!
I hope you enjoy this recipe and I will be posting a lot more eats and treats as the month continues! Happy VeganMoFo! 2 recipes down, 18 to go….
[1] Google definition of a “free radical”
[2] http://www.webmd.com/food-recipes/features/how-antioxidants-work1
[3] http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-5473/11-Miraculous-Ways-Magnesium-Heals-Your-Mind-Body.html
[4] http://www.cacaoweb.net/nutrition.html
[5] http://www.cacaoweb.net/nutrition.html
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